Here are some meaningless bits of information.

Welcome to the Other Side of Your Brain! Aliens will invade the Earth using a very unexpected means. Beware. Only a patty can save you, but an air guitar may help. may also help. A theremin should also work. You may also be threatened by cockroaches and terrorists. Take care with your Rollerblade Barbie and Strawberry Pop-Tarts. Don't eat the yellow snow!

Can you handle The full on high bandwidth version of Pavement Terror? No? Then consider joining the COPYCAT CULT OF DUMBASSES!

Are you bandwidth hungry? Try the low bandwidth diet, with TTYVIDEO.

This is the "Troubled Individuals" section, for anyone who has pissed off (or in some case, been pissed off by) powerful people. Other peoples' flamewars can be more fun than your own.

You can decide for yourself whether to - and in what way - defend or condemn writers such as Salmon Rushdie and Hakim Bey, ideally by reading their works. Alternately, it would be better to hear the words of Russell Means than to read them, but this is all that most of us will get. Keep up with the world of zines, with The Book of Zines: Readings From the Fringe.

Do you like anagrams? Do anagrams like you?

Even TV shows have problems. The first programme in the Brass Eye series was due to be broadcast on Tuesday 19th November on Channel 4, but was postponed and/or censored. Has Chris Morris gone too far, this time, or is Michael Grade just over reacting? Judge for yourself, by browsing The Brass Eye Fact Trawl. Discover Coyle & Sharpe's media pranks, in the 60s. His latest effort is Blue Jam.

Oh, yeah. That reminds me...RIP Bill Hicks. Many of us will miss his thoughts and revelations. He also had problems with the world of TV.

"Hired guns" can't stop John Oswald's music from being heard.

No censorship for Sister Clara's On-Line Nunnery, either.

It's revalation time, starting with the Things We've Learned From Movies, all things useless, and the Deep Thoughts of Jack Handey. Also, you can go to Hell if you quote too much or if you party too little. You can never be weird enough, but you put silly things in painful places. You can always have Fun With Words. Can you choose between 40 things to do on a bus, and 40 things we'd like to see in the pages of X-Men? Why would you want to? Is this futile?

There are some news stories that sound unbelievable but are in fact completely true, or at least as true as anything in the news can be. And then there's Diana...

The Peacock is particularly hard to believe.

Some unwritten rules:

Do you ever wonder if God and Cyber-Angels Surf the Net? Are you a Webaholic? Do you like cheese, Milky milky, and other dairy products? Are you scum? Suffering from Pre Millenium Tension? How much do you know about your cow's past? Are you a sadist? Do you find sex sucks?

More important than any of the above, you should know that you lack slack, jack, and should immediatly visit The First Online Church of "Bob", aka The Church of the SubGenius. Those of us who live in the UK can order SubG stuff from Mark Pawson. He supplies the shops, so it's better to order from him and cut out the middle-hume. He is filled with yeti blood and his catalogue is filled with all kinds of delightfully weird and abnormal things.
Ring, Ring o' Slack, ring, FNORD

And now, some recreation!

You can experience the joy of Palindromes, control an interactive model railroad, and be alert. You can get lost. You can also read an anorak, as well as wearing it as a garment. On the other hand, you may prefer something less tasteful to read, like the Roadkill Quarterly. What do you think of automatic weapons? Can you build your own atom bomb? Ever heard of the Darwin Awards?

Llook after your llama and other animal friends. Help eradicate poodles from the face of the Earth. Cheat with your Tamagotchi, abuse it, or let it die. Don't miss the Swedish FishCam!

A visit to the Dilbert Zone won't hurt you, either. Nor will The Surrealist Compliment Generator, or the Chinese Restaurant Name Generator. Did you miss the last moments of Timothy Leary's life?

The Clinic Of Decidedly Obscure Human Complaints is ready for you! Bonk Business Inc. await your orders, so don't delay. Zzzz

Mornington Crescent!

Speaking of spam...Like many others, I sometimes get some very odd email.

Boris Johnson - Just how stupid is he?

None of which is mentioned in my diary.